It's a Play Where's Youse Eats Lasagna. Youse Know’s, Like's a Dinner Theater. Youse a slow learner
Join Uncle Eddy and Grandpa Carlo on Christmas Eve in Brooklyn where's everything's fine--until The
Aunts show's up. . .
And speaking of Christmas. . .WEAR'S RED! and have your Old Balding Henry WEAR'S RED too's. Duh?
When do the doors open?
EVENING: 5:00 pm--curtain at 7:00 pm (that's show biz talk for when's it start's). Get there's early so's youse can have a glass of wine (or two). That's way's youse gonna enjoy the
show's better's and we's won't have to give's youse your's money back (not that we would's).
MATINEE: 3:00 pm--curtain
is at 4:00 pm
Can we buy wine and soft drinks there (this is the #1 question for all youse peeps who's enjoy's a glass pr two of wine with their's Lasagna--mainly the Italians)
Of course! Youse even get's a free Uncle Eddy's cup (it's plastic--youse gotta problem?)
Can we’s bring our own wine in case we's don’t wants youse cheap wine & plastic
Hey’s whose youse calling cheap? YES, youse can bring youse own wine. Big spenders should’s leave’s a tip for CHOC at the wine bar and BRINGS YOUSE OWN OPENER!
run up a big bar tab & put on a credit card?
Is it yours? Youse think Uncle Eddy’s a bank or somethin’? Youse need’s $CASH$. Youse know’s, like the stuff Uncle Eddy launders
(he’s likes everything clean & tidy).
When do we eat's? (this is the #1 question for all youse non-theater types whose only coming for the Lasagna)
7:30,for the Evening Performance (5:30 for the Matinee), so if youse got some's disease like tapeworms or somethin maybe's youse should bring a sandwich and bother all the peeps around's youse.
When is it over so we's can go home?
I don'ts like's youse attitude--maybe's we's never lets youse go home. Ok, ok--the 2nd half of the show resumes about 6:00 & ends about's 7:00--maybe's even's later.
What if all the Presale Cheapskate Tickets are sold out?
Stop youse bellyaching--nothings forever, not even Lasagna.
Can we all sit's together?
unless youse gonna make trouble like talkin' or throwin' stuffs. If youse a bigshot or spent time with
me in the correctional facility, youse can buy a whole table (seats 10). Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Are there age restrictions?
youse over 100 like Grandpa Carlo youse better bring's youse smelling salts. If youse under 18, Mama better decide because theres like, youse know's--a few bad words.
What are my transportation/parking options for getting to and from the event?
Plenty of parking unless we's Get Really Popular and thens youse be lucky
to get in.
What can I bring into the event?
A few suggestions would be youse sense of humor, youse St. Christopher's Medal, youse Rosary, and maybe's Youse
Priest. Don't get's youse dander up--we's an equal opportunity offender.
How come's there's no refunds?
Hey's, we's already got's youse money--why would we give it back? And's if youse don'ts show's up, we's eats youse Lasagna,
How can I contact the organizer with any questions?
Do I have to bring my printed ticket to the event?
Yes, bring the email ticket you'll get when you order tickets. If youse forget's, youse can Hear
Some of The Show outsides
Can I pay at the door?
You'll probably have to sit in the
Can I pay at the door with a credit card?
Youse goonna be's a problem, aren't you. Yes, but bring reals money if you can--like from the ATM. That's like in
front's of youse bank, Genius.
Can I update my registration information?
Sure. You mean's like if youse in the witness protection program likes Uncle
Gio and have to be's like, youse know's--someone's else?
Is my registration fee or ticket transferrable?
It's youse ticket--we's don't cares who youse give it toos. Maybe youse
behind on youse alimony and have to give it to youse ex-wife like Aunt Running Eagle ?
Is it ok if the name on my ticket or registration doesn't match the person who attends?
None of Uncle
Eddy's identifications match either’s so's youse gonna be's ok.