It's a play where’s youse eats lasagna. Youse a slow learner or somethin'?
Join Uncle Eddy and Grandpa Carlo on Christmas Eve in Brooklyn where's everything's fine--until The Aunts show's
up. . .
And speaking of Christmas—- WEAR'S RED! and have your Old Balding Henry WEAR'S RED TOO!
do the doors open?
EVENING: 5:00 pm--curtain at 6:00 pm (that's show biz talk for when's it start's). Get there's early
so's youse can have a glass of wine (or two). That's way's youse gonna enjoy the show's better's and we's won't have to give's youse your's money back (not that we would's).
MATINEE: 3:00 pm--curtain is at 4:00 pm
Can we buy wine and soft drinks there
(this is the #1 question from all the Italians)
Of course! Youse even get's a free Uncle Eddy's Cup (it's plastic--youse gotta problem?)
Can we’s bring our own wine in case we's don’t wants youse cheap wine & plastic cup?
Hey’s whose youse calling cheap? YES, youse can bring youse
own wine (even if it’s come’s in a box). Big spenders should’s leave’s a tip for CHOC at the wine bar and BRINGS YOUSE OWN OPENER (or scissors)
Can we’s run up a big bar tab & put it on a credit card?
Is it yours? Youse think Uncle Eddy’s a bank or somethin’? Youse need’s $CASH$. Youse know’s, like the stuff Uncle Eddy launders (he’s likes everything clean & tidy).
When do we eat's? (this is the #1 question for all youse Michelangelos whose only coming for the Lasagna)
About 7:30 for the Evening
Performance (5:30 for the Matinee), so if youse got some's disease like tapeworm or somethin maybe's youse should bring a sandwich and bother all the peeps around's youse during the show.
When is it over so we's can go home?
I don'ts like's youse attitude--maybe's we's never lets youse go home. Ok, ok--the whole evening is about 3 hours. Youse'll wish
it was longer—except for the parts with Eddy in em’
What if all the Presale Cheapskate Tickets are sold out?
Stop youse bellyaching--nothings forever, not even Lasagna.
Can we all sit's together?
Yes, unless youse gonna make
trouble like talkin' or throwin' stuffs If youse a bigshot or seeved time with Uncle Eddy in the correctional facility, youse can buy a whole table (seats 11) Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Odds are
50/50 youse get a response—probably less.
Are there age restrictions?
If youse over 100 like Grandpa
Carlo youse better bring's youse smelling salts. If youse under 18, Mama better decide because theres like, youse know's--a few bad words.
What are my transportation/parking
options for getting to and from the event?
Plenty of parking unless we's Get Really Popular and thens youse be lucky to get in.
What can I bring into the event?
A few suggestions would be youse sense of humor, youse St. Christopher's Medal, youse Rosary, and maybe's Youse Priest. Don't get's youse dander up--we's
an equal opportunity offender.
How come's there's no refunds?
Hey's, we's already got's youse money--why would we give
How can I contact the organizer with any questions?
Do I have to bring my printed ticket to the event?
Yes, bring the email ticket you'll get when you order tickets.
If youse forget's, youse can Hear Some of The Show outsides
Can I pay at the door?
You'll probably have to sit in the back. Whatsamattayouse?.
I pay at the door with a credit card?
Youse goonna be's a problem, aren't you. Yes, but bring reals money if you can--like from the ATM. That's like in front's of youse bank, genius
Can I update my registration information?
Sure. You mean's like if youse in the witness protection program likes Uncle
Gio and have to be's like, youse know's--someone's else?
Is my registration fee or ticket transferrable?
It's youse ticket--we's
don't cares who youse give it toos. Maybe youse behind on youse alimony and have to give it to youse ex-wife like Aunt Running Eagle ?
Is it ok if the name on my ticket or registration doesn't match the person who attends?
None of Uncle Eddy's identifications match either’s so's youse gonna be's ok.