It's a Play Where's Youse Eats Lasagna. Youse Know’s, Like's a Dinner Theater, Marconi. Capiche?
Join Uncle Eddy and Grandpa Carlo on Christmas Eve 1980 where's
everything's fine--until The Aunts show's up. . .
When do the
6:00 pm Get there's early so's youse can have a glass of wine (or two). That's way's youse gonna enjoy the show's better's and we's won't have to give's youse your's money back (not that we would's}.
Can we buy wine and soft drinks there (this is the #1 question--whatsamatayousepeeps?)
Of course! The more's wine's youse drink's the better youse'll like the show! Youse even get's a free Uncle Eddy's cup
(it's plastic--youse gotta problem?)
Can we’s bring our own wine in case we's don’t wants youse cheap wine & plastic cup?
Hey’s whose youse calling cheap? YES, youse
can bring youse own wine (bring youse own opener, too. Capiche?)
When do we eat's? (this is the #2 question--Uncle Eddy can sympathize)
About 8:00, so if youse got some's disease
like tapeworms or somethin maybe's youse should bring a sandwuch and bother all the peeps around's youse.
When is it over so we's can go home?
I don'ts like's
youse attitude--maybe's we's never lets youse go home. Ok, ok--the 2nd half of the show resumes about 8:30 & ends about's 9:30. Don't worry--if youse fall's asleep's we have's someone's to carry's youse out & put youse in the bushes where's youse
won't be a nuisance.
What if all the Presale Cheapskate Tickets are sold out?
Stop youse bellyaching--nothings forever, not even Lasagna.
we all sit's together?
Unless youse gonna make trouble like talkin' or throwin' stuffs, YES.Please
email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Are there ID or minimum age requirements to enter the event?
If youse over 100 like Grandpa
Carlo youse better bring's youse smelling salts. If youse under 18, Mama better decide because theres like, youse know's--a few bad words. The Uncles have been warned, but, hey--they's
What are my transportation/parking options for getting to and from the event?
Plenty of parking unless we's Get Really
Popular and thens youse be lucky to get in.
What can I bring into the event?
A few suggestions would be youse sense of humor, youse St. Christopher's Medal, youse Rosary, and maybe's Youse Priest.
come's there's no refunds?
We have to make your Lasagna in advance. Hey's, maybe's someone else'll get seconds if youse don't come. Your ticket proceeds will still go to CHOC. It's a good cause. Capiche?
How can I contact the organizer with any questions?
What's the refund policy?
Hey's, we's already got's youse money--why would we give it back? And's, if youse don'ts show's up, we's eats youse Lasagna,
Do I have to bring my printed ticket to the event?
Yes, bring the email ticket you'll get when you
order tickets. If youse gots one of those fancy smartphones we can scan youse barcode if we's can figure it out. If not, youse can Hear Some of The Show outsides
Can I pay at the door?
Youse mean's with real money? Sure, we's can even make change (maybe's).
Can I pay at the door with a credit card?
Youse goonna be's a problem, aren't you. Yes, but bring reals money like from the ATM. ATM--that's like in front's of youse bank, Genius.
I update my registration information?
Sure. You mean's like if youse in the witness protection program likes Uncle Gio and have to be's like, youse know's--someone's
Is my registration fee or ticket transferrable?
It's youse ticket--we's don't cares who youse give it toos. Maybe youse behind on youse alimony and have to give it to youse ex-wife
like Aunt Running Eagle ?
Is it ok if the name on my ticket or registration doesn't match the person who attends?
None of Uncle Eddy's identifications match either’s so's
youse gonna be's ok.