It's a Play Where's Youse Eats Lasagna. Youse Know’s, Like's a Dinner Theater. Huh, Galileo? Get it?
Join Uncle Eddy and Grandpa Carlo on Christmas Eve 1980 where's
everything's fine--until The Aunts show's up. . .
do I wear? (Uncle Eddy's is very popular with girl peeps--this is their #1 question)
It's Christmas in Brooklyn--WEAR'S RED! Have your old balding Henry wear's red, too. Capiche?)
When do the doors open?
5:00 pm--curtain is at 7:00 pm Get there's early so's youse can have a glass of wine (or two). That's way's youse gonna enjoy the show's better's and we's won't have to give's youse your's
money back (not that we would's}.
Can we buy wine and soft drinks there (this is the #1 question for all youse peeps who's enjoy's a glass of wine with their's Lasagna)
course! The more's wine's youse drink's the better youse'll like the show! Youse even get's a free Uncle Eddy's cup (it's plastic--youse gotta problem?)
Can we’s bring our own wine in case we's don’t wants
youse cheap wine & plastic cup?
Hey’s whose youse calling cheap? YES, youse can bring youse own wine. Big spenders should’s leave’s a tip for CHOC at the wine bar and BRINGS YOUSE OWN OPENER!
Can we’s run up a big bar tab & put on our credit card?
Youse think Uncle Eddy’s a bank or somethin’? Youse need’s $CASH$. Youse know’s,
like the stuff Uncle Eddy launders (he’s likes everything clean & tidy).
When do we eat's? (this is the #1 question for all youse non-theater types whose only coming for the Lasagna)
About 8:00, probably after, so if youse got some's disease like tapeworms or somethin maybe's youse should bring a sandwich and bother all the peeps around's youse.
When is it over so we's can go home?
I don'ts like's youse attitude--maybe's we's never lets youse go home. Ok, ok--the 2nd half of the show resumes about 9:00 & ends about's 10:00--maybe's even's later.
What if all the Presale Cheapskate Tickets are sold out?
Stop youse bellyaching--nothings forever, not even Lasagna.
Can we all sit's together?
youse gonna make trouble like talkin' or throwin' stuffs, YES.Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Are there age restrictions?
If youse over 100 like Grandpa Carlo youse better bring's youse smelling salts. If youse under 18, Mama better
decide because theres like, youse know's--a few bad words.
What are my transportation/parking options for getting to and from the event?
Plenty of parking unless we's Get
Really Popular and thens youse be lucky to get in.
What can I bring into the event?
A few suggestions would be youse sense of humor, youse St. Christopher's Medal,
youse Rosary, and maybe's Youse Priest.
How come's there's no refunds?
We have to make your Lasagna in advance. Hey's, maybe's someone else'll get seconds if youse don't come. Your ticket proceeds will still go to CHOC. It's a good cause. Capiche?
How can I contact the organizer with any questions?
What's the refund policy?
Hey's, we's already got's youse money--why would we give it back? And's, if youse don'ts show's up, we's eats youse Lasagna,
Do I have to bring my printed ticket to the event?
Yes, bring the email ticket you'll get when you order tickets. If youse forget's, youse can Hear Some of The Show outsides
Can I pay at the door?
Youse mean's with real money? Sure, we's can even make change (maybe's).
Can I pay at the door with a credit card?
Youse goonna be's a problem, aren't you. Yes, but bring
reals money like from the ATM for youse wine. That's like in front's of youse bank, genius.
Can I update my registration information?
Sure. You mean's like if youse in the witness protection
program likes Uncle Gio and have to be's like, youse know's--someone's else?
Is my registration fee or ticket transferrable?
youse ticket--we's don't cares who youse give it toos. Maybe youse behind on youse alimony and have to give it to youse ex-wife like Aunt Running Eagle ?
Is it ok if the name on my ticket or registration doesn't match the person who attends?
None of Uncle
Eddy's identifications match either’s so's youse gonna be's ok.